Who Really Knows
Here we are yet again. Another academic year comes to a close, more people graduate, sometimes never to be seen again. Even more people don't graduate. Spring is all around us, its wedding invitation season, getting a tattoo season, finding a real job season, and about eight other different seasons in addition to cram-everything-in-my-head-as-quickly-as-possible season, the most renowned of all the academic seasons. In essence we are in the midst of a time of year where a more than usual amount of change takes place, and yet I remain the same.
This year was my sixth year of post secondary education. I am now 24 years old. I feel like I have accomplished nothing in those 24 years except think of two very awesome band names, beat the two Guitar Hero games on expert, and refine my taste for music to the highest level (heavy metal of course). Scholastically speaking what have I achieved? A Bachelor's degree, a years worth of Master's work and a good idea for a thesis. Is it really the journey that is more important than the destination? As someone who is also on the journey leg, I'm kind of doubting it. However, I'm not sure I would change much about my life and the way things have happened. Obviously I would change a few things, but most of the things that I wish were different are things that are out of my control, so there's no point in wanting to change them.
When we think about ourselves, can we be objective? Is it worth it to think about yourself? Still working on those, which is somewhat paradoxical, especially in the case of the second question. But then again if I didn't have paradox, I wouldn't have anything.
I know that I am too introspective and need to get over myself a little bit. I also need to get over the mild discontentment that I usually have. Honestly I have it pretty good, its just not pretty good the way that I want it. I feel like I want something to pour myself into, but school work isn't good enough. Family isn't good enough. Helping other people isn't good enough. Work sure as hell is not good enough.
God, I love paradox.
This year was my sixth year of post secondary education. I am now 24 years old. I feel like I have accomplished nothing in those 24 years except think of two very awesome band names, beat the two Guitar Hero games on expert, and refine my taste for music to the highest level (heavy metal of course). Scholastically speaking what have I achieved? A Bachelor's degree, a years worth of Master's work and a good idea for a thesis. Is it really the journey that is more important than the destination? As someone who is also on the journey leg, I'm kind of doubting it. However, I'm not sure I would change much about my life and the way things have happened. Obviously I would change a few things, but most of the things that I wish were different are things that are out of my control, so there's no point in wanting to change them.
When we think about ourselves, can we be objective? Is it worth it to think about yourself? Still working on those, which is somewhat paradoxical, especially in the case of the second question. But then again if I didn't have paradox, I wouldn't have anything.
I know that I am too introspective and need to get over myself a little bit. I also need to get over the mild discontentment that I usually have. Honestly I have it pretty good, its just not pretty good the way that I want it. I feel like I want something to pour myself into, but school work isn't good enough. Family isn't good enough. Helping other people isn't good enough. Work sure as hell is not good enough.
God, I love paradox.
posted by Nick Ulrich at 1:25 AM
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